I need to get this out. It’s odd how some things I can never forget. I can still hear your voice telling my “picky, picky, picky”. I still remember clearly how you looked in your casket before your funeral. Your hair was slicked back, which was totally unusual. Your eyes sewed shut, which caused your eyelashes to clump together. The cries for you to wake up, which still bring tears to my eyes today. Everything happens for a reason, right? It’s what I always tell myself when things just don’t seem to go the right way at the moment. I still can’t justify what happened and probably never will. I hate to say this, but you’re one of my biggest regrets. I never took the time to put more effort and now I can’t take that back. But you taught me to not take for granted what I have. I can only tell you now that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You got my red roses, right? Happy 28th birthday, John. I only wonder….