I don’t have a title because I can’t think of words to accurately describe the feelings I’m trying to convey in this post. I feel…flustered, anxious, crappy, pissed, dumb, naive, upset, guilt, ignorant – this list can go on with non-positive feelings.
I feel taken advantaged of. I feel stupid for being honest and open. And now I’m upset with myself for being honest. Being too trusting when I should have held back. Stupid me. Stupid me.
This isn’t the first, second or third time I’ve had this feeling. I’ll put my guard back up after this lesson and over time it will gradually wear away until I am reminded again to be more protective of myself.
The wall I build every time to protect myself never stays because I always hope that everyone I come across are good people. That there are no bad people in the world. Good people…bad people. There really isn’t a cookie cut definition either, eh? It’s perspective. It’s an opinion.
This will all fade and I will forget until I read this blog again. I have a lot to learn and a lot to learn well – learning is a part of life. And one of the things I hope to gain at the end of life is to learn to never become that other person. If I ever do and realize it…man. *speechless*
